forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Randomize
