someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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