In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
