She's like a pop up book from hell.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
