Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
