She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
