so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
