He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
