what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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