god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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