Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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