shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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