Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
