Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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