I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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