i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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