May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
