Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
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remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
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I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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