Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
