nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
