My hand turned me down
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
