please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
