why im i the only drunk person in the library?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
