The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
two words: eviction party
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
