Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
my nose is crying tears of wow.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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