Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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