I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
