Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize