Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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