Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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