Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
