How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
