Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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