addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my phone needs a breathalizer
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
