Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
