his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Randomize