I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize