oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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