The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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