WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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