The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
