Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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