I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
