Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
