and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
