So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
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