I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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