You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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