I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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