i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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