Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
