You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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