im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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