what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
