If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
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