I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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