Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
