He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Randomize
