just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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