I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
