I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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