is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
