Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
