the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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