It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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