She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
