I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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